Talked to my therapist about those today. She gave me the book on it, asked me to take the test and read about mine. I can see which ones you might’ve been.
I think the long distance effed it up for my love language, which made yours suffer as well.
I remember and miss the times when you called me daddy. I remember being that male figure you looked up to, even with all my darkness. I know I made the mistake of being too much like a parent who lived you then your best friend. I’m sorry. I hope one day we can forgive each other and perhaps try again. Love you.
I’m going to watch the lunar eclipse tonight and really wish you we could be doing it together, on the phone.
But if my imagination serves me correct, you’re probably going to share that special moment with someone else too.
While I lie awake at night staring at the ceiling, I think of you sleeping in his arms.
When I think about texting you or calling you, I think you’ve already texted and called all the people who you care for.
When I think of how much I miss you, I think of how much you’ve forgotten about me.
When I think of how much I respected and loved you, I think of how you didn’t do the same for yourself.
When I think of how happy we were and how happy I could make you, I think of how happy you are without me.
When I think of you, here in this abyss of a room, with this black void in my life, with this emptiness I feel because you’re no longer in my life
I think of how I’d like for everything to stay dark, forever.
Days that I couldn’t live my life without you.
Maybe In Time,
You’ll Want To Be Mine.
Every kiss made my skin tingle,
Every embrace would lay my mind down,
Every text steadied my hand,
Every call soothed my ear,
And every time I saw you, the world was just right.
But now, my heart is falling back, exploding on impact,
My skin crawls at the thought of you with anything doing things with anyone but me,
My mind, in such anxious restlessness, never touches the ground,
My hands shake with clenched, controlled fury,
My ears hear nothing but the screams of my demons and yours.
And now, my world is no more.